Thursday, February 19, 2015

Simply My Anxious Mind

The other night I had my worst anxiety attack yet.
pain in my chest. Unwanted tears. A little throwup. The constant fear of it being the end.
It was completely over the top and unnecessary in regards to the reason why. But it still happened. And I truly don't want it to ever happen again.
Four days later my chest still hurts. But it's just a reminder of how I over think too much.
It's a little funny because of how well I internalize my anxiety no one truly know what runs through my mind through out an episode.
So here ya go folks, 30 thoughts with Tay.
1. Is that my alarm?
2. Nope. I was dreaming my alarm again.
3. Its only 5am?
4. I checked my phone at 3. That was surely longer ago. Ugh.
5. Yay! It 630! I can get up.
6. Holy cow its 645. I'm going to be late.
7. Whats worse?  A ticket or being late?
8. Ticket. Definitely a ticket.
9. Screw it. Imma drive like Paul Walker. *RIP babe*
10. 6:55. Still not my record.
11. Shoot did I lock the door?
12. Surely I did.
13. My car keys are in my pocket. Most certainly.
14. Where are my?!.. right. My pocket.
15. Why is that person not smiling at me?
16. I mean yeah its 7 in the morning but golly gee smile.
17. Please mister customer smile. I swear if you don't my day is shot.
18. He laughed at me for tripping. I'll take it.
19. Oh my gosh why must people laugh at my pain? Can't you see I'm dying on the inside? Why must you hate me?
20. I need a Diet Coke.
21. She definitely doesn't like me.
22. Awh she just showed me vacation pics.
23. Okay maybe she likes me a little.
24. Woah. I need advil. 3 please.
25. I hope this kicks in before that doofuss shows up.
26. Dang. It. I forgot to turn off the... yeah no I did do that.
27. Whens my next test? Right 12 days.
28. Thats plenty of time to prepare.
29. How can I learn so much in 12 days. Its impossible.
30. I need a diet coke.
 Probably the most relatable thing on the internet. 


Thanks for reading,

Tay

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