The Chickfila Way

This morning I found myself at Chickfila on North Monroe Street, Tallahassee Florida, witnessing something beautiful.

This morning I decided to go to Chickfila before class. I convinced myself it was a reward for the last day of classes. I walked in and went right to the bathroom. In there was an older black woman washing her hands. She washed her hands for a solid five minutes. As I waited to wash my hands after her, I noticed there was something off about her. Thought nothing of it. As she dried her hands she rambled to me about "kids these days" and that it was "a terrible world with these school shootings." I agreed, simply because it is terrible.

I dried my hands before she was done and went to place my order. As I sat down at the table I heard the staff complimenting her, and telling her that they liked her shirt. She was wearing an oversized yellow t-shirt with SpongeBob on it.

They doted on her, showing her love and kindness. Kindness I'm sure she doesn't always receive. Her face when they handed her an icedream cone was priceless. My heart broke in that moment. I could see other customers looking at her as though she wasn't human. But she is human, that woman has a family, or someone somewhere that loves her. She has dreams, and hopes for a better future. I know that because she shared with me in the bathroom.

I know first hand that Chickfila has their own set of rules and ways that they do things. It's often referred to as "the Chickfila way" as employees. But this wasn't just the Chickfila way, it was above and beyond. It was love, it was kindness, and it was beautiful.

Simply My Anxious Mind

The other night I had my worst anxiety attack yet.
pain in my chest. Unwanted tears. A little throwup. The constant fear of it being the end.
It was completely over the top and unnecessary in regards to the reason why. But it still happened. And I truly don't want it to ever happen again.
Four days later my chest still hurts. But it's just a reminder of how I over think too much.
It's a little funny because of how well I internalize my anxiety no one truly know what runs through my mind through out an episode.

So here ya go folks, 30 thoughts with Tay.

1. Is that my alarm?
2. Nope. I was dreaming my alarm again.
3. Its only 5am?
4. I checked my phone at 3. That was surely longer ago. Ugh.
5. Yay! It 630! I can get up.
6. Holy cow its 645. I'm going to be late.
7. Whats worse?  A ticket or being late?
8. Ticket. Definitely a ticket.
9. Screw it. Imma drive like Paul Walker. *RIP babe*
10. 6:55. Still not my record.
11. Shoot did I lock the door?
12. Surely I did.
13. My car keys are in my pocket. Most certainly.
14. Where are my?!.. right. My pocket.
15. Why is that person not smiling at me?
16. I mean yeah its 7 in the morning but golly gee smile.
17. Please mister customer smile. I swear if you don't my day is shot.
18. He laughed at me for tripping. I'll take it.
19. Oh my gosh why must people laugh at my pain? Can't you see I'm dying on the inside? Why must you hate me?
20. I need a Diet Coke.
21. She definitely doesn't like me.
22. Awh she just showed me vacation pics.
23. Okay maybe she likes me a little.
24. Woah. I need advil. 3 please.
25. I hope this kicks in before that doofuss shows up.
26. Dang. It. I forgot to turn off the... yeah no I did do that.
27. Whens my next test? Right 12 days.
28. Thats plenty of time to prepare.
29. How can I learn so much in 12 days. Its impossible.
30. I need a diet coke.

 Probably the most relatable thing on the internet. 

Thanks for reading,

Tay

I wont "Christian Shame" for 50 Shades

Hey Christians, Believers, Homeschoolers, Church, I have a question.

Why are we shaming people for wanting to see 50 Shades of Grey?

My facebook is filled with articles on how it will ruin your life and relationship if you watch it.
They resemble articles I wrote essays on about serial killers. Except these are more ridiculous.

It's inappropriate. It's kinky. It's not new news. ITS A MOVIE.
So instead of scaring people further away from the Gospel of truth lets put our pitch forks down and go see the Kingsman movie while our friends see some hot people get it on.
Afterwards, get froyo. Talk about a Relevant magazine article that made you think about becoming a hipster. Or don't. Show them you love them. Not that you're disgusted by them.
Be their friend. Not their mom.
You're not Jiminy Cricket.
You do you.

With love,

-Tay

The Beauty in Change

Change. Most people fear it, dread it, and hate it.
Me? I used too. It wasn't until I had spent a little time reflecting on all the change in my life that I realized it was really for the best. If it weren't for change I would never have lived in several different states. If it weren't for change I wouldn't have met all the people I hold dear. If it weren't for change I would have never realized I have anxiety. If it weren't for change I wouldn't be so hopeful. Instead of hopeless.

Thankfully I realized I needed to make a change in me. For the past month I have been taking care of myself. Not just spiritually, but physically, and mentally. Not only have I lost weight, gained confidence, but I've begun to feel more alive.

"Jesus always pointed people to a better version of themselves- especially when they've failed."-Bob Goff. 

(If you haven't read "Love Does" by him, I suggest you do immediately.)

This sparks so much within me, it is hard not to get excited and write a novel based off of one quote. I've failed so often. I've failed to take care of myself, mentally and physically. I have failed class, after class. I've given up on friendships when they get hard. I have given up on relationships when they get "too serious". I have allowed those things to let me down. But because of the good Lord he brings me back to him. Brings me to solace and grace. 

I have failed. But thankfully for change, I can see that failure is necessary in life. 

There's a certain beauty in failure. 

There's a certain beauty in change. 

Therefore there's beauty in life. 

-Tay