Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Emotional Feed

Raise your hand if you are a frequent user of social media.

My hand is high. 

Studies show that women are more frequently using social media, checking it multiple times a day.

Hand is still up.

Why though? We use the social networks to keep in contact with people, that's for sure. But what else do we use it for? 
Easy.
We use them for acceptance, self assurance, and to place our emotional resumes out there for the world to like and comment on. 

( Disclaimer, this is my personal thought, no fingers are being pointed, I have done all of these things too on social networks) 


We have all posted a heartfelt status seeking comments and likes to reassure us we are good at the mushy stuff. 
Social media has created a term that is still not accepted by auto correct and dictionaries, "Selfies". A picture you've taken and posted of yourself, taken by yourself. Selfies have become very common and normal, I've even taken a few. But why do we feel the need to over edit and post multiple versions or multiple shots? And when we pick the one we want as our default what do we do?
We sit, and wait.

For comments, likes, approval and praise. 


My hand is still up, and getting very tired I might add. 

We may not of have noticed it, but we do find ourselves looking at who liked the photo or commented. It's in our nature to want to feel accepted and search for it. My sisters have fallen victim to it, and use it as a focus or pass time. When they should be worrying about their track records or yards in flag football. Not which filter to use or if the caption says what it needs to. 

To quote my Adolescent Development professor: " Teenagers have always looked for acceptance in others through appearance and accessibility to it. It's just in the last eight years social networks have enabled them to do it in a lazier way, but also harder." 

It is harder, you have to gain a following base, and get people to notice you. 
Really hard, and my hand is still up. 


Emotional Resume..

To quote someone on twitter:
"Its attractive when guys are good with kids."

You're so right. It is an attractive quality. It's also something every single woman wants in a man whether or not they want children. It's common knowledge. Along with "I want to be treated like a princess and be brought flowers." or the whole "I want a TUMBLR perfect relationship."

Pardon my french, but, what the H-E_DOUBLEHOCKEYSTICKS? Tumblr perfect is a thing? 
I honestly think I have lost brain cells searching Pinterest and Tumblr for information. Coming up empty handed other than seeing young teens embracing eachother in nicely edited photos. 

All those quotes above are prime examples of posting your emotional resume. Wanting a guy to fit the slots. You might as well pass out surveys and take the one that answers the questions most accurately. Honestly, not a bad idea. Just could end badly. 

I see it in all my news feeds. Whether its for friendship or relationships, people are using social networks to fill the void of what they want. Personally, if you want to make friends, or meet a nice guy/girl go out and get'er done. You don't need to publish to the world what you want or need. It's honestly degrading of yourself and the people who are trying to fill that void for you. 

I fell victim to it late middle school, but I soon realized that I don't need to use social networking to fill my void. It's destructive and potentially painful. 

Solution:


Think. Think before you speak, tweet, and post. It's hard I know. I don't always do it myself. I love seeing what my friends are up to, especially the ones I don't ever see. But what I hate is seeing what they want, or wining about how they don't get enough sleep. Internet Etiquette, let's make it a thing. 

Some people it's their only outlet, only way you know what's going on.  And to an extent that's fine. 
But for some people it does nothing but take them down. Yes you may get a ton of likes, but a majority are out of habit. 
Also a limit of five status's a week should be a thing. 


This is just some thought's I had, nothing to take to heart, and no offense intended. I'm not complaining, just observing. Loving and wanting everyone to understand I love them. You should go to people before you go to the internet for therapy. 

What do y'all think? I know I've probably sparked some emotion and debate among my readers. And I'm sure not everyone agrees. But as I've seen it and done it, and recovered from it. I thought, YOLO. 

-Tay

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